Alien Shooter Review

The greatest horror films ever made master the art of suspense. You see a character locked in the bathroom, and suddenly, the creaking of the old oak floorboards leaks through the door. The audience knows that something is going to go down. Now, the audience is excited to see the conclusion, even if the character is going to get stabbed to death.

This game has absolutely no suspense.

You begin the game moving the mouse around, seeing aliens, and clicking violently. And then violently some more. And then some more. You get the point. Those violent clicks then result in voilent images, as rooms just simply turn into dark red gradients of what appears to be blood. It loses its touch, however, and becomes as far past overkill as a video game can go.

This braindead plot, which you can trust is deep due to the innovative title "Alien Shooter," sends you on missions killing anonymous aliens with big guns for a couple of levels, with some people talking about this and that here and there. Your gun gets bigger occaisionally, and in turn, as well as accurately following the laws of physics and of nature, it shoots faster and with bigger bullets.

The best part about this failed experience is that the designers wanted it to be "scary". They realized that the nonexistent variety in the gameplay gives you only one means to provide horror: shrieks. The aliens shriek often, and quite loudly. It becomes repetitive, however, and with every grain of intelligence you have left, you turn the volume down. (If you were in a really smart mood, you would shut off your monitor).

If you, the faithful reader, does not decide to take my opinions to heart, you may try out a demo of this game, but even to most gamers, reading this review is more fun than that.

The only people I would recommend this game to are those defunct adolescent boys who sit around all day burning ants with magnifying glasses (not the ones who do it on a slow day, but the ones who have it as a daily practice; a much lesser population). To those who do attempt to play it, take that anonymous military complex back from those alien scumbags.